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One commits suicide in AZ

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Doctors attending one resettled Bhutanese, 20-year-old Menuka Poudel at St Joseph Hospital formally declared her dead at 6:30 pm local time, Wednesday. She was rescued from her apartment when she was found hanging on a scarf to commit suicide on Tuesday afternoon.

Though doctors pronounced her dead only a day as she was kept in ‘life support’, friends and family members claimed she breathed her last in her apartment itself.

The family is yet to receive the dead body from the hospital.

Meanwhile, the Bhutanese Community in Arizona is holding an emergency meeting tomorrow to discuss about the kind of supports the Poudel’s family needs from the Bhutanese community and the funeral procedures to be adopted.

The family that originally hailed from Dagana of Bhutan was shifted to Phoenix two moths ago under the third country resettlement program. Still, two members of the family reside in Beldangi-II sector A-1, waiting for their relocation.

“We have done everything. Now we are waiting for our flight schedule from International Organization for Migration,” her brother, Hari Poudel, told Bhutan News Service from Beldangi-II over phone.

Meanwhile, following the suicide of their daughters, parents have refused to go to the same apartment, which is currently locked by security for investigation, it is learnt.

Currently, aged Poudel couple and a daughter are taking shelter in one of their relative’s apartment until their resettlement agency finds the next apartment.

The cause behind her suicide is yet to be investigated, family sources informed.

With inputs from Nandita Khanal from Arizona

31 COMMENTS

  1. Really a shocking news! Let the departed soul rest with peace in heaven. Also heartfelt condolence to the bereaved family.

  2. Very Sorry! Bainee.
    I’m totally shocked. I can’t believe that you ended your life.
    May your soul rest at eternal peace forever. May Almighty give power to recover the grief and the loss.
    You didn’t do the fair job by ending your valuable/precious life dear. You created a big void and more suffering to innocent family members. Family had expected much from you during the transition period and it would have been wise if you could have extended the helping hands to the aging parents but to the contrary you ended yourself. What a fate!

  3. It is unfortunate to hear such issues cropping up from Bhutanese settled in the USA. I think the resettlement agencies, Bhutanese friends and realtives close to the family of those who arrive need more support and help in their initial struggle for the changed environment, cultures and people not known around them.

    The resettlement agencies are requsted not to leave those who land in new country,cannot work because of language and cultural differences to struggle thmeselves to make their ends meet. I think helplessness and feelings of uncertainty of how they can meet their ends meet could be the driving force behind so many suicide cases coming up in the USA from within the Bhutanese community.

    My prayers for her etyernal life and request all Bhutanese in USA and oparticularly those in Arizona to come forward and help the Paudyel family. From the write up I can guess how ha4rd it would be for the parents to cope up the loss and live with none to support them.

    Keep up the spirit of helping.

    Y.P. Dhugnel
    Australia
    Sydney

  4. How and why is this happening time and again in USA? What is main cause that psecifically suicidal approaches are done trough hanging?

  5. Dear friends,
    While sympathy being poured and help being discussed, please try to find the root cause and cure of this tragic mental health sickness in our community. Kindly refer to my previous article here below;
    Dick Chhetri

    Suicide: Eradicate Mental Health Problem in the Bhutanese Community.

    Unspoken fear has set in the Bhutanese community due to the series of suicide cases in the resettled Bhutanese refugee population mostly around the United States. It is devastating news for all of us. It is time to take evasive actions to take care of the Mental Health of our people being resettled. It is the time for the community leaders to step in and bring early intervention programs to the community.

    Mental Health
    Initial struggles to adapt change and progress in America have been a challenge to all immigrants but more so to the refugee population. It is understandable that many carry PTSD, Depression and anxiety which were found to aggravate with ground realities and the hardships of resettlement faced with barriers such as language, culture, system in the overwhelming new circumstances. Despite such conditions, people tend to keep the psychological/emotional stress to themselves due to social/cultural taboo. In the long run, this could manifest into more severe consequences such as the suicide, domestic violence, alcohol abuse and other crimes. We want to avoid such unfortunate things from happening again. Early intervention is the key to improve the mental health of the community.
    I want to share with you what BASCO as a community organization is planning to do here in California. We will be taking a more holistic approach in the long term but starting with some basic activities as a pilot project for the short term. I am sending gist of Basso’s project proposal (innovative project) part of which is being submitted for a small funding possibility. My hope is that it will help our people in other states/countries to do similar or better projects to eradicate this saddening and threatening social problem. Meanwhile, let us make B.O.R.E (Bhutanese Organization Reciprocal Exchange) an understanding among ourselves to share unique projects that can benefit our people, no matter where they are. So, please do BORE for more.

    Activities (geared towards Holistic Approach)
    Qirten vajan (chanting program)
    To start with, it is a good idea to organize Qirten Vajan on weekly basis where people gather, chant hymns, relax, and talk of new experiences, hopes and dreams. It will also be a rendezvous to share joys and sorrow prompting them to some extent to open up to personal problems related to various levels of health issues. It will make a positive impact in the mental health of the community as they start anew and move towards new perspectives of life in America.
    In order to make the Chanting program more successful with holistic approach, we will be adding a piece of Oral History, Cross Cultural Counseling and Health through Sport, Music, Dance and Physical therapy in due course of time depending on the funding capabilities.

    Cross Cultural Counseling
    Bhutanese refugees endured almost 20 years in the deplorable circumstances in the refugee camps in Nepal which were inflicted with violence, numerous divisions and amateur politics of various kinds that added mental stress to the community as a whole. They are saddened that they were evicted from the country, and then after 20 years resettle dispersed in many countries. But they had high expectations that coming in the foreign land in small batches; they will be reunited once again like in Bhutan, tolerant to each other to live in peace and harmony. However, when these expectations were not met, they are disheartened and stressed up. It is sad for them to see their community degenerate, especially their children and youth forgetting their land, tradition and culture with generational gap ever widening. It has certainly affected the mental health of the refugees’ community and must have contributed towards domestic violence, depression, suicides, alcohol abuse etc.

    As an early intervention, we must incorporate cross cultural counseling, whereby community leaders and successful immigrants from other communities come and tell their success stories and give message of Hope and Optimism to our community reflecting positive aspects of life in America and the immense opportunities that the future generation will have.

    Oral History
    Most of the older generation of our people hardly knows how to read and write but they have wealth of historical knowledge through their life experiences. Their untold story must be shared with the youths/children who in turn will tell their part of the story and what they expect for the future. It is expected that this will lead towards reducing generational gap that currently exists between the elders and the youth/children.

    Health through Sports
    Will introduce ethnic games like Kabadi, Archery etc… and encourage the community to participate creating physical and mental exercises in the enjoyment of the sport.

    Music, dance and Physical theraphy:
    In some cases, the art of Yoga, relevant music, dance, massage therapy will be fruitful to improve the mental health of the community. A lot of the activities depend upon funding but Some of the activities can be started right away with our own community initiatives. If the community leaders bring these issues and activities in the form of project proposals to the agencies, state dept/federal government, chances are that we will succeed more than we can fail; and when we succeed, we will create an environment of Soft Landing for the community in the hard realities.

    Dick Chhetri

  6. Dick Dai this is the great compose for most of the bhutanese thank you so much for sharing it. this is almost late to do what this composition said and also who leads to do this kind of great work ? please it will be great if you try to find out the person who starts to lead. if Somebody start to lead another comes to show the way it is difficult to start later many hands come to support and …..

    Dev sharma

  7. Good thoughts Dick dai.

    I personally encourage for us to start practicing Yoga every day. I myself have been into Yoga for sometime, practicing for an hour every day early in the morning, and have found it to be very helpful. Yoga strengthens you from inside rathern than looking for solutions elsewhere. Yoga also promises a cure/prevention/control to many diseases we suffer from – such as hypertention, diabetes, obeicity, kidney stones, depressions etc. Above all you will feel light, energetic and focussed. For me it is a good, free health insurace, that keeps you mentally and physically fit through out each day.

  8. Dick jee has shown lots of concern for the newly settled community in his writing. Some of his tips are very healing and practical. At this stage, I find the most helpful is love and support from community, friends and relaives.

  9. Mr Dick, this time you heat it right. Think and write to avoid you regular verse ”sorry I commented without reading”. Hope Poudel family will get support from everywhere including Mr. Dick. I’m ready to play my part.

  10. It is very sad to hear such kinds of news time and again n especially from AZ. No one knows what’s going wrong with the people resettled in there.
    Going through the whole news I found the case quite similar to the earlier cases in any way.
    It’s good to hear that the Bhutanese Community in Arizona is holding an emergency meeting to discuss about the kind of supports the Poudel’s family needs from the community and the funeral procedures to be adopted.
    I know that the poor family will be benefited from their work.
    The Bhutanese community in Arizona is doing a great job.
    But every time I think of this, some questions come to my mind like: what is the use of doing such things after someone’s life has gone? What makes the people hang in their ceiling with their scarfs? The most absurd thing I feel is: if the community is really working for the welfare of its people, why is the community never longing to find out what actually is going with the people resettled there? Or is it not its responsibility? Why is the community never taking any steps to end this trend? If it is out of the community’s calibre, why doesn’t it seek support from the other Bhutanese communities? I don’t think someone will be undermined discussing good things with any other. It’s not the first case faced either. Whatever the community does, it and its concerned members cannot revive that lady. Or if it is up to some one’s personal profit, I have nothing to say. If not, these are my questions to the concerned personnel of that particular community.
    Thankyou

  11. After reading this news i became sad. May her soul remain in peace in heaven.Let the mystery of the accident be found soon.sorry i can’t share more in this time……………..

  12. My deepest condolences to the bereaved family. Since I know this family since ages, I can Imagine the trauma the dad must be going through right now. I cannot even imagine that there can be any other bhutanese who is more “innocent” than this couple (mom and dad of the departed soul).
    Dick Dai has certainly put some insightful thoughts in to this. But of course, a larger concensus is required. It is high time for us to analyse the causes for the reasons to truncate the life, that too in a tender age, and eradicate this trend. I think SK has raised very serious concerns. The questions are valid. All of us are in the transitional phase. The difference is that most of us are emotionally strong to cope things, but a few of us are not( assuming that frustation was the reason). To educate people to become emotionally strong is not easy. A lot of resources is required which perhaps we lack. The resettling agencies should by virtue of their duty should come into the picture here, at least in terms of resources.
    I gave a speech in one of the events organized by our resettling agency some 5 months ago in a big hall. Apart from just thanking them, I pointed out to the public( there was a lot of gathering) that resettling agencies must start thinking about adding their resources in helping the people “Transition their life”. After the speech, the GM of the agency came to me and said,”I did not appreciate what you said today”. I thought for a while and told him, ” I did not say that because i was hungry for your appreciation, I just said the truth”. Since then they have stopped inviting me in any of their functions. Recently there was a big night event where every immigrant community represented,so did the Bhutanese community, for which i am happy. But I was denied an invitation, even after the caseworker requesting the agency. Such is the situation. Yet I believe that we are strong enough and we don’t need to depend on any one to educate our society. This is our problem and we must tackle this. Lets discuss in the google groups and come up with some concrete steps. I am always for it.
    Thank you.

  13. It’s been most painful n heartbreaking news for resettled Bhutanese round the world.WANT TO SHARE SYMPATHY N PAIN WITH HER FAMILY WHO R IN MOST PAINFUL SITUATION…SIS MAY UR SOUL REST IN PEACE and m sure our Bhutanese citizen will b aware now on n show their solidarity in this most hard time for this famly..

  14. really sorry for that,
    she ended her life but she was blind about her parents. why all these thing happens in our community. in did she left this world but the responsibility of young stars is to mold the entire path for our community to have batter existence in resettled countries. we are to take the soul responsibility to promote our children in right track and let them carry our cultural and ethnic values and act as the shade for aged people giving them desired environment. really sorry for her, she blank, couldn’t do the best as she can do.

  15. Really sorry,
    this is the most painful story for bhutaness people resettleing in united state. It’s going on increasing, no one knows why it happen.youth are lossing the courage to strugle in USA.Youth are the one who had to take care abt the aged parents and to help tham to exist.Anyway let god will take care to “Menuka Poudel” in heaven and give a courage to exist in any difficult to her family members and all the bhutaness people in USA.Lastly my heartfelt condolence to “Menuka Poudel”.

  16. I have observed one thing about our newly resettled people is they feel isolated and lonely soon after they arrive in the new country. After living in the camps in close proximity of each other it is only normal that they feel lonely. If the families and friends don’t live close by people may get lonely and frustrated. To start with, everything is so different and overwhelming to a newcomer, on top of that if they can’t talk to friends and family, this may lead to depression.

    One more thing I have noticed among our youngsters is many young lovers are separated due to various circumstances. Sometimes their family opt to go to a different country than their boy friend/girl friend or many times they don’t want to get married for fear of being further delayed for resettlement.

    I hope this will help to understand the situation little better.

  17. Very sorry to hear this bad and heartfelt news. I know this grl very well and miss her a lot. let her parents get support @ help from the Arizona Bhutanese Refugee Family and let her soul rest peace in the heaven…………!!!!

  18. There are lots of Bhutanese organizations formed bt why ain’t they working to avoid this type of accidents. This organizations should help the depressed pple to overcome this kinds serious problems. ur one good work can save a precious life…Finally….My deep condolence to the Poudel family…may the soul of Menuka rest in peace.

  19. My heartfelt condolences to the beareaved poudel family. Let Menuka’s departed soul rest in peace.
    Now, the Poudel family has really gone vulnerable. The innocent parents need immediate help and support so as to console them against this irreparable loss.
    IOM has got a greater role to play by arranging the flight of brother who is still in the camp as soon as possible. Otherwise, there could happen anything to the desparated and lonely parents of Late Menuka.

    I strongly agree with Mr. Dick, that there should hail those kinds of social functions that counsells the depressed people like Menuka in the new land.

    I am of the opinion that BCA, the prestigious organisation of Bhutanese in the states will help the family in the co-ordination of local settlemnt agencies.

    Once Iam feeling extremely shocked and untimely demise of the little Bhutanses girl in the USA.Almight! give courage to the bereaved to tolerate this great loss.

    Devi Pokhrel
    Adelaide, South Australia

  20. Heart felt condolance to my lovely sister as well as my frn menuka poudel who sucide in america(arizona) may her soul remain peace in hevean. God bless her family and god will be remain always on her family……….

  21. I am sorry to hear this tragic news. My deepest condolence to the bereaved family. Let the deceased soul rest in eternal peace ever after.
    Thanks

  22. My deepest condolence to Poudel family. Menuka Ji was too young to die.
    This was not the first time I have read news of suicide committed by a Bhutanese refugee resettled here in America. It is very painful for me to know that too many of former refugees have lost their lives, after coming to America, due to car accidents, incidents of violent acts like armed robbery or suicides. America turned out to be “Bad Luck” for them. I think charity organizations are not to be blamed, nor American culture or society was responsible for the loss of that young life, because many American young people also kill themselves. People have their own personal reasons for losing their faith in themselves.

    I am deeply sad and shocked, and prey to my Allah for the departed soul and Poudel family. I would like to say to any person out there who is thinking of killing himself/herself, “Please stop thinking negatively, and prey, because it works”.

    Mr. Shahid M. Pasha, USA

  23. we all are very sorry to hear abt ur suddenly life end in arizona , we all pray for your departed soul to to be reach in peace in haven, we express grif n heartfaild condulence to her and we pray god to give power to tolarate for rest of her family n relatives, +-

    syracuse , new york

  24. It is so sad news for all the bhutanese who are resettled and who are in camps, I personally encourage her family to be strong in this situation… time will let them to go in good way.. I wish her soul will remain in peace in heaven… I have no idea about the family background of that family. It is need to concern by all the bhutanese… why and how this kind of thing happen to us… it is not only first incident happen there…we all need to encouraged by ourselves to live in a strong motivation,..first of all we youth are the main source to co orperate and give courage to our parents and grandparents….

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